I disagree about the "father" stuff.

He sold us SALVATION. HE WAS THE LORD ALMIGHTY and we humans had heard the possibility of that happening, so we thought, so young and vulnerable...

He prayed on "christian cultures" victims and still does pedaling he can show peace and light...yeah, lucifer talks about light too... LOL

To understand we have to ask the right questions and it all needs to beging with him, not why we did it.  Why did he sell the package to us?  Why is he STILL TODAY selling the same "package"?

You, as me, as anybody who at times loses touch of why all happened,  and have trouble adjusting to the real world, we need to reach for professional help.

His motives were strong and he prayed on us.  We didn't want a father figure.  I know I didn't.  My dad in an accident at work and made peace with that LONG ago.  I didn't need a father.  We feel for it because his motives were set then as they rae today.

He wanted power, money and he got it, so much more than he could ever imagine.  He has devotes who have connected him to scam our government, skimming free money... I know... and in the process he becomes richer and richer.... that is his shallow motive... money, you know, doesn't bring peace or happiness.  He got what he desired, to buy his F*&(*) plane and all the toys he worships.

I didn't wanted a father.  He offered me a way to see GOD and that all I have to do was try, and try I did and more too. I SURRENDERED.

I never thought though that the god ended up being something so jailing and dark....

The "father" thing is a coincidence for  many, perhaps, but I also know many who did had fathers and good ones and fell as well.

I am going to a retreat for people recovering from cults, for two weeks.  You may want to find something similar.

At first, when we leave the cult we feel such a sense of freedom and happiness but as time goes by, some of us see that the brainwashing left deep scars in the deepest of places and unless acknowledged, we will not be able to make it smoothly through life, expecially if like me, the ex doesn't drink or use drugs.  That can cover deep pain well, for years.  Is called escape.

What hapened to us was simply monstrous and it went on for too long for those of us deeply in the cult, totally devoteed and listening to the garbage for years and years.  Where do you think all THAT went? Away?  Is not that simple.  Is taking me years after having left the cult to realize how little tools I have to live in the real world.  Those with suppoting family by are lucky.

No, psychologists don't know everything.  Think about spiritual rape and read about it.  NOBODY, except those who shared the same experience, can REALLY relate to us TODAY. 

I will share in a few months what happened in the retreat.  Lots of paperwork to do.  It will not happen right away.  All I know is that I was accepted.  I wrote a long letter.  All the professionals working there are ex-cult members and by the letter I received they are very good at what they do. 

The best to you Nya!

Henna, the largest unlit match, by the grace of the real GOD I know today.