Steve,

What about this?  I was only a premie in the seventies and I can only really say from experience what it meant to be a "good premie" then.  However, it does seem that Rawat himself closed the gap between people like you and him as the years went by.  At first, he demanded a considerable sacrifice.  Most of us balked at least somewhat.  Some more than others.  The people who balked a lot then weren't "good premies."  But as Rawat stopped asking people to give up so much, his demands and expectations fell into place with the original balkers.  Now, as has been oft noted in these parts, there seems to be an unstated pact between them both to lie about the past and pretend that it was always a mellow, non-demanding trip and only a few crazy Mahatmas and "corporate types" blew it up into something weird and obsessive.  I'm not saying that that's what you're doing necessarily but you can see the connection.