It is quite possible that the meditation circuit and the worship or devotional circuit are related..I can see it in myself. However, with more self-awareness, I am able to watch it, in fascination now, as the feelings wash over me, without necessarily identifying my whole being with those feelings or making decisions based on them in the moment. I guess I am my own lab rat. I continue to unravel all the conditioning and layering of a lifetime from even before rawat and his cronies came into my life...

Thanks for the book recommendation. I have a deep curiosity about autism and have read several fascinating books, one called ( I think) Nobody Nowhere, by Donna Williams who has autism. It is her autobiography told from inside her mind, looking out, as she experienced the world all the way through college. Then that great novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time.