I also would not have "leapt" at the chance to be close to M personally or to have a high profile service. I felt rather guilty about feeling both things, actually.  But I would have done either if I was told to by Maharaji, or by the cult honchos.  I was told to do certain service, that some might consider 'high profile," but it really wasn't, and I for the most part didn't like it.

And I also did not want to be driven like a slave, but, again, I would have done it if the situation required and I thought it was part of surrendering my life to Rawat. 

What I wanted was to surrender to Maharaji, to his will, because I believed him when he told me that was the goal, the path of devotion to the living Perfect Master.  In that light, my personal preferences were to be repressed and ignored as much as possible, if they conflicted with that.

I think one of the factors in whether a cult honcho was a Nazi or not was whether somebody had actual power over other premies, and if a premiee did, and if they were fanatical or whatever, people felt it.  So, I'm sure a lot of other fanatical premies would have done much the same if they had the power, but, tellingly, some premies, who got power over other premies, did not behave that way, but actually respected the other premies and had a lot of compassion.  Those people, IMO, didn't last very long and pretty much have all left because being a humanitarian often conflicted with the needs of the master.  I know that's a generalization, but it sure seems that way to me.