At the very  least you respond

What do you mean by "deepest moments" of your life?  What, exactly, is it or was it that you didn't know before that you know now?  Anything in "detail" and objective?  Or are we talking the land of generalities and spurious claims?  Hyperbole maybe?

BTW, How are you doing?  I haven't seen hide nor hair of you in a long while.