Danny,

I really agree with a lot of what you say, for example:

...and not recalling exactly when and where I saw passages... but I felt there was a part of me that was saying "smugly" that "most of us knew the truth and it's OK to disguise it in the form of a more digestable package!

I recall going back to the 70s there was this idea that it was okay to cover over what being a premie really was, because "new people" were not at a point to be able to understand it.  So, deception was okay because it was to further something higher.  Of course, that's how most deceptions are rationalized, and it's something I grew unable to accept.

The other part of me was questioning why, if giving K was the answer, why had M eliminated the initiators? Why was M the only one that was to give Knowledge? Where were the efforts to promote and advertise K? How come less and less where actually attending programs?

I remember even before the initiators were eliminated, it was very confronting to me that people just were not really interested in knowledge, and that we were spending all this time and money with almost no results.  I remember in 1981, Maharaji came to San Francisco and tons of money was raised for him to speak at Davies Symphony Hall;  then about 6 months later a "cheaper" program was held at Zellerbach Hall on the UC Berkeley campus.

In both cases, particularly the first one as I remember it, only about 7 people followed up, and out of that maybe 4-5 people received knowledge.  And also, in both cases, I brought someone I worked with to the programs and tended to kind of see the programs through her eyes, and it wasn't pretty.  Rawat was inane and incoherent.  Both times my co-worker never mentioned the program again.  Later, she told me it was so simplistic and boring that she almost fell asleep.  I also began to listen to Rawat with a somewhat more critical ear than I had before.

Those were huge "drips" for me, especially in light of how much was expended to make those events happen because Rawat required first-class luxury to show up at one of these events.

It is just so clear that Rawat's priorities are not, and never have been, propagation of knowledge, and that's partly why he has been such a miserable failure at it.  All the resources went to support his lifestyle, not to advertise knowledge.  But even then, I don't think people are attracted to what Rawat offers these days because it's so confused as to what it is he is offering.  I mean, he says it's just an experience of peace, but the gaga premies in the audience completely support the idea that it's a personality cult.  It's just an experience of peace, but Rawat is essential to it, and the reasons are never explained.

It's just a simple experience of peace, but you have to wait 6 months and listen to a 100 hours of video before you can have it.  Why?  Most people are not idiots and the mixed messages and the failure to answer questions openly (and instead being told to "listen more") are red flags to most people that they are being deceived, and/or this is a cult.