Sam,

I appreciate your post as it is interesting to hear from someone in your position.  I did a lot of childcare service back in the 70's.  I think that the situation was fairly innocuous in Divine Light Mission as compared to other cults.  I think the kids were given a good upbringing for the most part. 

But - there was a lot of child abuse in other cults of that period, and of course Divine Light Mission was no exception.  Please read about Jagdeo if you haven't already done so.  Jagdeo was my initiator and I DO place a lot of blame, both on him and on Charananand and all the others who allowed Jagdeo to continue on abusing.  I also place a lot of blame on Prem Rawat for all the things that he is responsible for, and there is a lot of that. 

Do ex-premies take responsibility for their own actions?  I really don't see why you say that they don't.  I think they do.  We have to balance all the circumstances: our youthful naivete, our own mistakes, the lies and foolish indoctrination that we were fed, the era and its idealistic philosophies, and anything else that is in the equation.

It is natural for people to be either very bitter or very happy or anywhere inbetween depending on their own experiences and their own present perspectives.  Some people have every right to be quite bitter.  I could give you some extreme examples, resulting in suicide.

As for your own case, I am happy that you are enjoying your life given all the aspects of your personality that you indicated.  However, I don't believe that having and practicing Knowledge can be given the credit that you give it and which Rawat teaches.  He teaches people that they are unlit and that he is a "lit" Master and that people have to go to the "lit" Master in order to find their own light.  I think this is a false philosophy.  Please go to the thread about the Passages video that is just above this one.  In that video an initiator of Maharaji explains how Rawat talks about this unlit and lit philosophy.  Please listen to that portion of the video.  It is the first clip.  Do you really agree with this teaching?  It is one thing to teach about inner peace and it is quite another thing to teach that inner peace is dependent on a Master's influence.

I personally have Knowledge.  I practiced it for many years, about 25 in fact.  For me it is definitley not dependent simply on the notion that you cited: if it feels good, do it; and if it doesn't feel good, DON"T DO IT.  The feeling of the heart does feel good, but I have come to understand that the feeling of my heart is independent of Rawat and his teaching.  There is no difference of the feeling of the heart between me and currently practicing premies.  The only difference is our belief system about Prem Rawat and those four techniques.  We exes do not argue against the feeling, but the narrow belief system behind it that cults perpetrate.  I think that one very big problem in today's world is all the religious belief systems that narrowly promote one particular way to God or to one particular way to go inside to experience the heart.  We (the human race) really must grow into a more universal and all-inclusive philosophy of life.