Jim,

But I disagree with your statement above especially since the "sexual assault" itself is only an "assault", if at all, in the legal sense of vitiated consent.  The idea that sex in a gross power imbalance isn't about sex is, in my opinion, as wrong as saying that fraud or embezzlement isn't about money.  I could agree with you if you were saying that it's not just about sex but then that just raises the question what is sex about anyway?  It's all complex stuff but I don't think it's helpful to reduce it to black and white slogans like this. 

Well, I do understand why you would think that it's a "black and white slogan" because rape is violence using sex.  But, explaining it the way I did sometimes is the only way to get across to some people who can't get it through their thick skulls that how they are thinking about it is indeed a myth.  For instance, Andries's remark about "being around attractive women..." is a myth because the fact is that women of all shapes, sizes, ages, and appearance are raped -- it has little to do with appearance, but more about power and control, and the MO of the perp, obviously.  Of course rape is the violent use of sex, but the fact is, it really isn't sex because it's not consensual and it's also another myth that all men rape for sex.  It's really is mostly about power and control.  Here are some commonly used myths as outlined by the Washington D.C. Rape Crisis Center.  These are the myths-list items most commonly used by crisis centers around the U.S. and beyond for education purposes.

http://www.dcrcc.org/myths.htm

Myth:  “Rape is not a big deal; it is only sex.”

Fact:  Rape is a big deal.  It is a crime of dominance and control using sex to express power and anger.  Sex is between two consenting partners, while rape is an aggressive act using sex as a weapon.  To be raped is to be violated and stripped of control and self-determination.

Myth:  “Rape only happens to teenagers or young women.”

Fact: Rapists attack infants, senior citizens and teens.  They attack women, men, girls and boys. 

Myth:  “Rape only happens if you ask for it.  Women who are provocative are the only victims of rape.”

Fact:  Women’s behavior is irrelevant.  The rapist chooses to rape and he is solely responsible for that choice.  To act provocative or to wear sexy clothing does not mean you are asking to be raped.  The attitudes behind this myth betray a double standard.  According to this double standard, sexual feelings and expression are acceptable for men, but unacceptable for women.

Myth:  “Some women dream or fantasize about being raped.”

Fact:  A dream is not reality.  Dreaming about something does not mean you actually want to be raped.  Rape occurs when an attacker takes control of a woman in reality.

Myth:  “A woman cannot be raped if she keeps her legs crossed or keeps moving.  No man alone can rape a woman.”

Fact:  One man alone can rape a woman and it is a common occurrence.  A man may use physical violence, threats, manipulation, confusion or a weapon to force a woman to have sex with him.

Myth:  “Most rapes are inter-racial.  Most rapes are committed by black men against white women or white men against black women.”

Fact: About 80-90% of all violent crimes against women are intra-racial; most rapists attack persons of the same race. (1)

Myth:  “Rape is committed by strangers.”

Fact:  77% of completed rapes are committed by someone who is known to the victim (2) and 90% of children under the age of 12 know their assailants (3).  A rapist may be a friend, family member, acquaintance, partner or caretaker.

Myth:  “Rapists are mostly psychotic men.  You can identify a rapist by the way he looks.”

Fact: Most rapists are men with no obvious signs of mental illness.  In study after study, researchers are unable to find any significant psychological difference between men who rape and men who do not rape.

Myth:  “Men rape because they need sex.”

Fact:  Men do not rape because they need a sexual partner.  Men rape in order to humiliate and dominate a woman.  In fact, 75% of men who rape are either married or have regular sexual partners. (3)

Myth:  “Men who rape other men are gay.”

Fact: Rape is an act of control and domination, whether the chosen victim is male or female.  Rape is not a sexual act and it does not relate to sexual orientation.

Myth:  “Most rapes are spontaneous.  A man sees a woman and has to have her.”

Fact: Most rapes are planned.  A man may watch a particular woman for a while and try to learn her daily routine.  Many men also test women’s reactions to hostile or sexual remarks to see if they can intimidate her.

Myth:  “It is impossible for a man to rape his wife.”

Fact: A husband can rape his wife and a boyfriend can rape is girlfriend.  Even if a woman has had consensual sex with someone in the past, that person can rape her if he forces her to have sex when she does not want to.

Myth:  “Rape only happens if you are out on the street late at night.”

Fact: Rapes occurs at all times of the day and 6 our of 10 rape/sexual assault incidents occurred in the survivor’s home or at the home of a friend, relative or neighbor. (5)

Citations:

(1) U.S. Department of Justice, 1994.  Violence Against Women.  Rockville, Maryland: Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice.

(2) Bureau of Justice Statistics.  Sex Offenses and Offenders, 1997.  Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Justice.

(3) Greenfield, Lawrence a., 1997.  Sex Offenses and Offenders: An Analysis of Data on rape and Sexual Assault.  Washington, D.C.: Bureau of Justice Statistics, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. 

(4) Greenfield, 1997.