Here's the deal, though, you must call him by his real name (chortle, chortle), and that name is: Guru Mariachi.  His current residence is somewhere south of the U.S. and he's really drawn in by heartfelt cries in the wilderness.

Super-secret note:  Refer to yourself as a humble dung-beetle and he just HAS to show up!  He can't resist the sincere requests of a dung-beetle. 

Understand, I'm not making any guarantees, but if you sweeten the pot by mentioning a stack of 20-dollar bills..... ya never know

Sincerely,

The Humblest of dung-beetles! 

(Just ask me, I'll tell you that I am THE most unworthy and humblest of dung-beetles, so you have some work to do)