About everybody else has already told you this, but what Rawat says in introductory programs and what he says elsewhere are miles apart. 

That's always been the case.  In introductory events, it's all just "go within" and find peace.  At other events, it's devotion and surrender, your mind is out to get you, don't be confused, you need the master, and "Guru Maharaj Ji is the source of everything."

It's also the reason that he won't reveal the techniques to people at the introductory program, so they can have the simple and natural experience is is talking about.  Why?  Because people aren't properly indoctrinated yet to see Maharaji as not only essential to the process, but the actual source of the experience.

I assume you do not think in such compartments in your real life.  I doubt your would survive very well if you did.

But again, Elisa, I can't really fault you, all I can do is point it out.  I did the same thing when I was a premie.  It's the only way you can hold it together.