I used to think it was not a numbers game and that every individual soul mattered to the Perfect Master. It shocked me a few years ago---I was still a believer then---when that same person bored everyone in the hall with poorly constructed bar charts boasting about numbers: how many he had personally given knowledge to. I thought "So what? This seems like sheer egotism. Where is the concern and care for those who have already received knowledge? Provided they show up, he does not care if they 'realise Knowledge' or not. It's all blatant propaganda. Why is he telling us this? What good does it do?"But such is the persistence of faith that I explained it away to myself, Joy, just as you are doing now. Probably every ex-premie has been where you are.
And I will almost guarantee that you won't persevere in Knowledge to the end of your life.
Obviously you will continue breathing. But if the breath is Knowledge, none of us have a choice in the matter! If Knowledge is breath, it adds nothing to what we already had.
The great conjuring trick which he has played, and which you have not seen through yet, is his ability to make you believe he plays an essential part in your life.
Once you see through that, you will see that there is nothing special about Knowledge either.
