Hi Lexy,

I never put that in my Journey which really isn't much of a proper histoire at all, come to think of it.  I've told the story a number of times over the years but, come to think of it, I probably should redo my Journey, include that bit and then I can tell that story with a simple link. 

The Last Emperor had just come out a few months before so it was topical.  It was a bit of a non sequitor to what I'd asked him which was, "What about the fact that we were told that you guys were divine? (accented for effect)"  He then asked if I'd seen the movie, I said yes and he went on to explain that, like the protagonist in the film, he and his brother were raised to think they'd never have to work a day in their lives.  Of course that hardly answered my question but did well underscore what we've always known about Raja Ji which is that he is a terminably superficial prat, unable to even hide it like his brother at least can, sorry to say.  I'm sure even his best friends would admit that about him.  Indeed, when we sat down at the Red Robin the first thing he started talking about, I kid you not, was the fact that Maharaji wasn't giving him enough money then.  He was doing some vague business stuff in New York and on the payroll as a part-time instructor.  As such he got a stipend but it wasn't enough, he said.  Imagine telling me, a total stranger, that?  I guess I just inspire that kind of trust in people, huh?

What did you understand by that Jim and why was it the last straw for you?....Maybe you thought..well if Prem Rawat won't even answer his own brother's questions on this matter then he'll never answer to anyone ? That if Raja Ji didn't "understand "then he was simply a stooge ,in it for a nice car and a comfortable lifestyle. What a surreal moment for you !

Yes, that was it.  I also recall thinking that the reason Maharjai wouldn't answer was because he didn't have any good explanation at all.  See, it was the late eighties.  Maharaji had not yet formally taken his promise to bring world peace off the table yet and, despite whatever any revisionist might claim, we all know that was no small part of the program.  The promise still lingered, even as it rotted like, well, like so many rotting vegetables, come to think of it!  Back of the fridge, no one wants to take them out and look at them even if only to toss them all out.  They / it were /was just there.

But if Maharaji wasn't prepared to explain himself to his brother of all people, I knew that he didn't have a good hand to play.  At least that's what I believed.  It was enough for me to conclude, once and for all, that this trip's bullshit.  In retrospect, it's very hard to even speculate that I had any hope at all that Raja Ji might reignite some inkling of hope in Rawat.  I think I just thought it was kind of funny to be having this second-grade "darshan" now that it meant so little to me.  But maybe, just maybe, in the back of my mind I thought he might have something to say to give me pause.  Well, one thing's for sure: he didn't.