Watching that video clip of Maharaji dancing really brought it home to me why I could never be a premie. Strangely enough, it is because watching Maharaji dance now as me as an "outsider", I find his dancing to be quite innocuous and pleasant to watch, a bit like one of those Indian movies on late at night with subtitles.
But I remembered why I found the whole thing so utterly distasteful and it was because as a permie I was continually being hammered with indoctrination and heavy trips from Maharaji down. The whole surrender scenario and all the Maharaji is the Lord stuff was just overwhelming for me and I felt like I was in a vice which was gradually being tightened and there was no escape.
Maharaji peddles one heavy trip and it gets heavier the more one is involved with it. I look back now and wonder how on earth I could have allowed myself to stay in a cult that was completely alien to me. I know why, because I believed I had to be in it because Maharaji was the Lord.