Premie response (you're just a premie, your individual identity doen't matter - is that the reason behind the name?) I know why you don't care what other people are doing.  You have a deep seated belief that maharaji/prem rawat is, indeed, the lord, even though he's denied for years; and that belief keeps you from taking an interest in the outside world, because he's taking care of that (even though now he's not even a leader).  See, it's the double-think of the brainwashed, and I had it too, trusting that even though things looked pretty bad (war, famine, flood, earthquake, etc etc ) the Lord of the Universe was here, so he'd take care of it - eventually.

Far from listening to anything Maharaji says, his long-time followers are so convinced they're on the side of God in human form, they don't use their instincts or minds any more to take care of themselves.  They just sit down, stick their fingers in their ears, and let everyone else get on with living.

I think that's fairly typical of anyone who's been conned, for such a long time.  Knowledge doesn't belong to Maharaji, you can do the same techniques if you want, but the imaginary presence of the 'divine' Master is what really makes it feel worthwhile.

Peace gained by ignoring the glaring hypocrisy of your master is bound to be impermanent - and the crash, when it comes, even more devastating.

Start caring about your fellow premies and ex-premies, before you've wasted any more of your life.  And your partner may get to see a more balanced and caring person, too, which they obviously deserve.

If the lord of love's only legacy is to leave you not caring about others, denying your common humanity, it's a pretty poor return for your 30 years with knowledge, isn't it?  You say you have hobbies (to pass the time between events?) but do you actually contribute anything to others - have you created anything you, personally, believe in - or are you leaving that to Maharaji too?  He told us all the world was an illusion, our critical minds evil, and that, whether you acknowlege it or not, is what's behind your current world view.  Those ideas rob you of creativity and enthusiasm for anything not sanctioned by your master, in my opinion, and devalue the experiences of others.  You know, feeling betrayed and repulsed by Maharaji's behaviour is a 'feeling within' too!  It's the sort of feeling that warns you to change direction and stop wasting your time and money on him.  Carry on meditating by all means, but don't imagine Maharaji cares about you or what you do, either - just as long as you carry on contributing your dosh for his 'free' gift of knowledge.  Next time you have the 'opportunity' to participate, ask yourself how much these four techniques of meditation have cost you!