Hi Susan,

I think it's so interesting to see in retrospect how each of us reacted to the various rituals of our cult.  I never liked Holi much because the crowd made me nervous (pushing, etc) and getting all wet in the hot Florida sun never felt good to me.  But, I'd never have missed a Holi because I worshipped M, so it was an endurance test for me.

On the other hand, I remember loving the dancing mala stuff but, I also helped make some of the malas and did gold embroidery on the pants, so there was another devotional aspect to it for me later on.  I wasn't thinking, that much is obvious! 

I never felt sexual feelings towards M and no one ever expressed that to me.  Yuck!  Orgasms?  Sounds like a Beatles concert or (yuck) Michael Jackson fans.

Gives me the shivers!