Sheesh..... I'm not THAT dense!  I know it was my fault.  I didn't try hard enough to find gawd.  I was only willing to melt my brain, swim through the "ten thousand things" (if you understand the latter statement), go into the depths of mental-hell-lows, search and search and search.... give up (for about two seconds every year or two) and search somemore!  FOR YEARS!

But ask M (gawd himself) and I didn't try hard enough!  Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, damn!  I just figured it out.  I wasn't an ashram premie that gave up EVERYTHING....... I saved enough of my premie-house-living money to go to Quality Pie with Juan on a semi-regular basis.  I know why we did that, too...... we needed to go somewhere "neutral' (normal?) to think occasionally

But wait........ I guess I still haven't figured it out 'cuz the ashram premies weren't liberated, either....... except liberation from all their money, time and youthful exuberance.

Will I ever find gawd?  Ever?  (the latter is a joke, since there isn't one, to be sure)