Haha, the best job I had was also with poop, huge quantities of it. As a very poor student, a summer job disposing of sewage on farms was brilliant. In a couple of weeks I earned what I was supposed to live on for an entire term. I'd driven tractors before, but not so much. With the interview test drive, things went wrong. The cab filled with so much smoke I had to jump out. I'd just left the hand brake on, but the tractor was so huge and powerful, a little thing like that was easy not to notice. I was very surprised to be given the job anyway.
Clearly the foreman was disappointed from day one and things went downhill with him continuously. I was unreliable, often late. One day the holding tank was brimming full, and another lorry load was expected and the bonus-inspired work was about to be held up again, on account of me. Well, I picked up my trailer as quick as I could, backed it to the holding tank, filled it up, and shot off to the field for spreading it. I did it in such a hurry that when I came back for a refill, there was the foreman, glowering more than ever. Fuming in fact. I hit reverse, looked back and the trailer had gone, and I hadn't noticed! He leaped into the tractor and we went to the field to look for it. It had come off the tractor at high speed, and the front part was buried deep in the ground. A new trailer! The foreman went to find the boss, so he could get me sacked at last. I waited by the holding tank, and then decided to see how broken the trailer was. I tied the tractor to the back of it and pulled, and it came out of the ground, entirely intact. So I hitched it up again, emptied it and went back for more. The lorry must have been delayed, because by the time the boss and the foreman got back, the holding tank was empty and I was backed up ready and waiting. Clearly the foreman had over-reacted! When the boss left, the foreman informed me in a very convincing way that he was going to bring a knife in to work on Monday, and if I showed up, I'd get it.
It was with more trepidation than usual then that I showed up on Monday, only to be told that the man had gone to a wedding on Saturday and had been stabbed. He wouldn't be back. Which meant much more work for me. Grace, see?
