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Yes, the whole thing is confusing.
But, I think what is going on is Roark is channeling Shri Hans. Just a guess. I'm just trying to keep low to avoid any trouble.
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E-drek,
That's right, never has an ex-premie come with such power, it is me, Shri Hans, and I have my all-seeing eye on you and your manmut ways E-drek, and this is serious shit, and rotting vegetables and unlit matches are a walk in the park compared to what I have in store for you!
But, actually, what happened is that I was communicating with an old friend of mine, as we do from time to time, and i asked him if I could post something he wrote to me on the Forum. He said OK, I posted it, there were responses, I posted a second post for him at his request (for just a small surcharge) and then he wised up and realized he could just join into the Forum free-for-all at no charge, enthusiastically get his balls busted quite directly, and plans to cut me out of the middle, stay tuned. I offered to reduce my fee, but no go, and I recommended the nickname "brainwashed Hindu" for his to use here, which he greatly appreciated, but is coming up with something better and hopefully more descriptive. And now I feel guilty for getting him into this mess. And where the hell is TED when we need him to explain these things, that's what I want to know!
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I thought you got hit upside the head or something.
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TED's here and listening carefully before he comments....
Gotta see how this affects things down here at Trac...we're in tough shape, financially....tried to set up a big game preserve here with Trumps boys, but they had to bow out at the last minute, due to political concerns...too bad, could have brought in a few bucks for us...and raja ji's not coming around anymore, so there goes another one of my "A-listers", along with e-Drek, who upped his speakers fee from 1K to 5K, (ouch!) last year....sadly, TED had to let him go too....arti's just not the same without mr. e-drek...
While TED's partial to the idea of satguru foot kissin, he's gotta weigh all things before he wades into this one....could be a whole lotta shakin going down before this one passes...maybe we could get mr. foot-kisser down here for some sort of symposium and you could all go at it for awhile...get it all out, and bang a few drums while yer at it, couldn't hurt....
Modified by TED Farkel at Sat, May 06, 2017, 22:45:10
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TED, What a relief, we are more than a bit lost here without
you. I’d really like to help you down at the Trac, and I was
hoping when I rolled out my new lineage, website and branding that I could come
down and drum up some business (provided e-Drek doesn’t try to glom onto me
again). I went ahead and set myself up
as a Guru and founded my own path, called Myowna Yoga, but I don't think it helped when
I froze up at my first holy discourse.
It wasn’t a big crowd (but there was a cutie I had my eye on for a Gopi)
but satsang was not flowing, and I ended up telling a long goat joke, which I don’t
think came across well, particularly when I laughed way too hard. There may be a structural flaw in my branding
as well, as I ran into some difficulties when folks started to call it Theirowna
Yoga, Yourowna Yoga and the like (and I became somehow less worshipful). Anyway, I’ll work on my stuff, but have any
satsang for me? And would you please straighten out this whole foot
kissing controversy right away, thanks? M
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Gosh, Mr. Roark, you seem a bit confused about which way to go, and now you want ole country boy TED Farkel to help you out....
You seem like one of those fancy college educated dudes from IHQ and Deca and all that, and now you want TED's advice...
Normally TED might be inclined to charge for some of his workin man's savvy, but since you've been to Trac a few times, and dropped a few big bills on drinks down here with e-Drek, TED will make an exception here...
First of all, if you wanna be your own guru, you gotta pick one or the other...either yoga or meditation...first things first...one or the other....
TED recommends bein a "meditation only" guru, because it's just so much easier to tell some tall tales about the "experience", or the "breath", or that "magic moment" etc...and you got a great role model, prem rawat, to copy...you don't have to meditate, and all you gotta do is talk about some mystical experience that you claim you've had and no one can prove anything about it, either way...see, that way you're covered, and if anyone questions you about it, just tell them they're not devoted enough, or they're an "unlit match" or "in their mind", and they need to go do some more meditation and get a bit more humble....it's kind of a nice, easy racket once you get them believin you're something special...and with all your intellectual ramblings about the history of hinduism and sikhism and buddhism, you stand a good chance at bafflin them with your bullshit, along with some far off samadhi like stares once in awhile...kind of make it look like the damned devotees are pulling you out of samadhi with their dumb questions, tell them to meditate more, and you can put them back in line pretty quickly...
OK, now if you don't like that route, and want to go the yoga route, (which I think you're partial to) you've got to come to terms with a few things here...
One, most likely the Roark in his 60's aint like the Roark in his 20's, and it's gonna show on the yoga mat, believe me....especially with those young millenial gals who can bend their bodies into a double pretzel before they even go into their first downward dog posture...
With yoga, they can tell if the guru has been "doin his homework" and TED's not sure you can pull that one off...
Second, you mention that you got your eye on a "cutie" who could be a gopi....bad choice, my friend, bad choice....first of all, you gotta leave the "groupie/gopi" thing to the big boys, the satgurus, the lords of the universe etc....they've got the right stuff, mainly lack of conscience, to pull that stuff off, and TED's not sure you do...
Plus, what if "lower roark" (the one below the belly button, if you catch my drift here...) starts going in one direction that the "upper roark" is not espousing in his satsang about higher love....could be embarrassing, especially if you're in your yoga tights, and things get poppin, if you get TED's drift here...if you're a meditation only guru, just wear some loose fitting pajamas and you'll be just fine... and remember to practice that slightly annoyed "you're bringing me out of samadhi" stare...
But, TED sees that ya got your little heart set on being a yogi, so here's my advice.... TED's got 2 great role models for you to follow:
Go to that www.youtube.com site, and type in:
1-"Jamie Kennedy Experiment-Yoga"---I think you'll like it, plus it will teach you how to deal with anger issues, if you have any, after following a fake LOTU for decades...I think you'll like his style, I really do...
2-"Goat yoga-60 second docs" might be more your style, since you're partial to goat satsang, why not go with some goat yoga while you're at it...plus, if you get good at it, TED will spring for a bus ticket and get you down to Trac, and you can run some classes down here in farm country....it will be a natural, we just gotta work on your hillbilly slang a bit, maybe e-Drek can catch you up on some of that...
That's it for now, let me know how it goes...if you can work out some anger, and get down with them goats, maybe I'll get you down here for bhole ji's visit in the summer....we're selling lots of 5 hour energy drinks at Trac (folks are falling asleep at satsang these days) and bhole wants to come and talk shop....
Later dude,
TED Farkel
PS:Oh yeah, about that foot kissin thing.....TED's gotta ruminate on that one a bit more... some hoof kissin might work, if you like them goats, in the meantime....
Modified by TED Farkel at Sun, May 07, 2017, 21:06:50
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TED I
sure wish I had spoken with you before I spent all that money on the website,
which I took down. And although I really
like the goat yoga and have some great ideas for evolving that idea, I am going
to go the meditation guru route now (especially after my sketchy launch
discourse), and I am practicing my far off Samadhi stare now. Much more up my alley, thanks so much, and you
haven’t even SEEN baffling yet. And we
can kick around the Gopi idea some more.
I feel like saying PRANAM, bro. Can we can talk about you coming on board with me?
Maybe as my CSM (Chief Strategy Mahatma), I cut you on for a
piece, and we fix up the Trac as money
starts to roll in? Just meditate about it
and let’s talk if you are interested. I
feel kind of bad bringing the foot kisser onto the site, to be set upon like
wild dogs here. I hope he hasn’t been
driven back into the arms of the Lord (after being away for over thirty years). I did hear he sold everything, bought a bag
of weed, a pound of coke and a case of good cognac yesterday, and was last seen
driving towards Malibu. Stay tuned. It
reminds me of one of my favorite sayings: “Before you criticize a man, first
walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when
you do criticize that man, not only are you a mile away, but you have his
shoes” Mike
Modified by roark at Mon, May 08, 2017, 12:12:43
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