It's painful and heartwarming at the same time. I live with the wounds caused by that derailment every day, but I wouldn't trade the solidity? of the peace I somehow managed to construct by distilling it all. It was a horrible round-about way to get there. Almost like using Prem Rawat, Knowledge and that sorry-ass cult as a benchmark for everything peace is not!

In 1979 when I was a community coordinator in a city about forty minutes from where we live, I remember plotting introductory outreach programs in the area we now live. Now I play golf and socialize with dozens of the very people we were targeting. They inspire me as salt-of-the-earth people who lived genuine, unfettered, dignified and hard-working lives. They have no idea how much respecct I have for them. They also have no idea how hard it is for me to pretend that I lived the same way (or hide that I didn't). It has a way of amplifying those wounds when I'm around them.

What a naive, blinkered fool I was to fervently believe they needed to be saved!

You also reminded me of the many times I said to Flying Solo that "I'd be happy all the time if it weren't for other people!" 

Thank you for such thoughtful, moving and reflective posts.