When I became part of DLM pretty well the only thing I accepted was the "if this meditation doesn't give you peace then you should leave it" blurb that the young guru had made. Living in Australia was peaceful and my teenage angst had settled but the peace he spoke of then came with guidelines. After about 6 years I realised I was no closer to the state of being and neither were the other premies whose claims of being in a state of almost being there had attracted me in the past. So I left spiritually and mentally if not completely physically.
John Horton had lots more beliefs he had accepted. Some of them he stated publicly in the major media of the day. All of them were false, none of his expectations and explanations have come true and yet he's still a true believer prepared to use his undoubted intelligence to promote Rawat and attack His critics. Now, all the youthful idealism and innocence has been transmuted into spite and superciliousness. That's what Rawat will do to you.
After the satsang I have dinner with the Guru's personal physician, Dr. John Horton. The doctor has an extensive theory concerning the stimulating impact of Divine Light meditation upon the pineal gland, whose increased activity will eliminate all of humanity's aggressive drives. He also explains that the Perfect Master's duodenal ulcer must be understood on three different levels:
1) the habitual physical level - constant jet lag, changes of diet, fatigue, stress;
2) the spiritual level: it is a sign of his compassion for mankind, like the stigmata on Christ's feet;
3) the cosmic level, as a revelation of universal suffering.
The diagnostician of Perfect Master's cosmic ulcer disturbs me more than any other premie I meet because he is the brightest, the most dedicated, the nicest of the lot. He is thirty, and has had a few acid trips, which he describes. I can't understand how they can have screwed up a first-rate mind to that degree. Some pathology of affluence is at work, as it is in Galloway, Hollowitz, all the other intelligent adult premies I talk to. Horton was an all-county football star as a teenager, went to college at Dartmouth and Columbia, has his medical degree from Duke University Medical School, had two years of Freudian analysis as part of his psychiatric training, and always considered he had everything in life for happiness. But he wanted more … at one point in our conversation, he says, as Hollowitz did: 'I wanted continual ecstasy!'
Man's most basic drive, Horton says, is the transcendence of his ego; the sex drive is nothing more than one form of ego transcendence; and the transcendence offered him by the Master's twenty-four-hour meditation technique is infinitely more blissful than sex.
