But also it marked the end of prevarication. It was the resolution of long standing cognitive dissonance. I was calling bullshit on something I had considered previous and fundamental.

And then the people! I had concerned people phone me up to check I was ok the first time I deliberately chose not to go to an event. What to say? You've travelled so far again, you go ahead and enjoy being conned?

So there was a fear of being seen as a betrayer I guess, but I never felt any threat besides what I had in my own head. I arrived at the forum towards the end of all that really nasty stuff that went on.

Susan - are you still getting warnings?

One brother who I was very close to hasn't spoken to me for 10-15 years now. He's still very much a premie. He won't answer the phone. It's a shame. My wife used to say she always knew when it was him I was talking to on the phone by the extent of the giddy laughter. Now, crickets (I like that little expression). I suspect I'm a deluded traitor or something, but it's hard to interpret silence.