Yes, that line got to me too, in every word it's so true, painfully so.  I was with you, reading your post on writing LOVE over your notes.  I think it was the same for a lot of us.  That's the golden thread that drew us together as premies.

Disappointingly there was a worm in the apple.

The thing I wanted my premie friends to understand when I exited was that it wasn't just that Rawat wasn't the 'maharaji' person we had believed him to be, it was considerably worse than that, he is not a nice man.

Being a premie ended up making me feel abject and having this confusing sense of fakeness, but you are believing a lie that puts a fakery into the centre of things - once I woke up to that I got to be myself again.  Only to realise he wasn't the only faker in my life.

I live in an area that drew lots of hippies so it is nice to find ones at bridge that didn't get caught up in a cult and hear their stories.

shocking and painful to recognise how much in simple experience of life I got robbed of just by believing a liar or two, it's like you get blinders on.  I am grateful to be my old hippy self now - I see a lot of value in that.