Thank you for pointing that out. It played a key role in my leaving Knowledge. During those years, I felt much more comfortable and at ease with my work friends and colleagues than I did with premies in the community I lived in. At work I could be myself and feel accepted whereas with premies it was always "shields up." Sometimes I had to stop at the door to flip a switch (or change hats) before entering. Accomplishments at work, especially those of my dedicated and hard-working colleagues, were significant and inspiring. Except for pulling-off an occasional large event, there simply weren't any in the premie world. And as I mentioned recently, the ways of thinking that I was rewarded for at work blew-up in my face among premies.

The difference between the two groups of people was striking. Whereas one group took responsibility for their independent lives and tried their best to succeed professionally, the other group surrendered the reigns of their lives and became utterly dependent on Guru Maharaji. My heart still sinks when I contemplate all the derailment Prem Rawat is responsible for.

I was lucky. With no college (university) and nothing to fall back on when the ashrams closed, I put everything into working hard to catch-up. Work rewarded me and premies criticized me for it, especially in the 2000s when I was simultaneously burning out trying to do service in my secret life as a premie - the life I had to hide from everyone at work.

It was funny watching premies try to mimic the real corporate world. Even funnier that after decades of disparaging it, they tried to emulate it in an effort to appear "normal" and somehow become more competent.

Thanks Tim!