Short answer: absolutely. Maybe Linda was a little easier, but not by much.

To save you time without reading all this, no one ever legitimately knew or realized the young guru was God for the simple fact that he wasn't. They could think, say, feel, hope, need, react, imagine and talk themselves into it all they wanted, but it never changed the fact.

I said I knew Prem Rawat was God and dedicated thirty-six years of my life to him, not because I knew or had any realization, but because... well, he just was. That was never to be questioned or doubted and that's all there was to it. My experience had relatively little to do with it. It wasn't much more than latching onto perceived glimpses that were consistent with my heavily reinforced indoctrination and understanding. Better some days than others but that didn't matter. Even the sun hides on cloudy days but it's still there. Remember that one? So what if meditation didn't amount to much. I made the effort and that's all that mattered. Grace would surely follow.

A little of my backstory (I'm sure Linda had her's):

1. I was lost, adrift and vulnerable. To me, Guru Maharaji and Knowledge were like picturing the sun as a hole in the sky that gave me a glimpse of the other side. That was straight out of satsang right along with the cave dwellers who were never exposed to the sun, blue sky and puffy clouds until Guru Maharaji came along.

2. My best friend, my utter dependence on a higher power and the books I read immediately after I received Knowledge (especially through my biased filters) confirmed and validated Knowledge. Guru Maharaji suddenly personified everything I already sensed was true. It made so much sense that there was never anything to question.

3. Divine light, celestial harmony, the primordial vibration - light, sound and vibration - were the "missing pieces," forms of "infinite energy" (that can never be created or destroyed) that perfectly matched the poster: "The energy that moves the atom moves you. Come and realize." (Tucked beneath a photo of a serene thirteen year old boy enveloped in a light blue aura.)

4. Dozens of people I could completely relate to who were thinking, saying and believing the same thing; beautiful people who welcomed me with open arms, love and no judgment in an energized group setting that was even more powerful, compelling and validating at festivals.

5. A severe motorcycle accident three months after I received Knowledge practically forced me... drove me to meditate and absorb satsang like a dry sponge.

6. I was swept-up so quickly that I never had a chance. Within months, I was utterly incapable of accepting Guru Maharaji as anything less than God, the living perfect master of our time. Being a young, naive and immature high school runaway, I didn't have enough strength, confidence or self-esteem to stand on my own. Suddenly I had the crutch of all crutches (even while I was still on crutches). Doubts never stood a chance, in part because the blow to my fragile core from being made such a fool of would've been devestating. I could completely identify with the premie who was deprogrammed in your recent post. "Coops" jumped from two stories and another premie I knew who escaped became almost robotically devoted and was never quite the same.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Did I ever know or realize that Guru Maharaji was God? Of course not! But I along with all those other premies certainly claimed as much. Then, soon thereafter and without warning, Prem Rawat slammed the doors shut and trapped us with his relentless fear mongering; the fear of "the world," becoming separated from Him, and "breaking that connection" that he pummeled into our brains. Damn strait he was God!

I'm struggling to describe how a toxic cocktail of personal needs and vulnerabilities, (initially) compelling techniques, heavily reinforced indoctrination, group energy and plain every day brainwashing influences what people say they know as well as what they do.

I'm not even scratching the surface.