I understand you are now very involved in another group. And I certainly would not attempt to dissuade you.

Yet I also want to answer to Philaraction. And express myself on the topic of joining ( religions, cuits, spiritual groups ), versus not.

When I did quit Rawat' s cult, dropping also the meditation which I has practiced assiduously at least 2 hours oer day for 15 days was not a small one. I feared maybe my mind would go bersek if I did. 

Well like that happened. I was going then thry very rough waters, emotionally and otherwise, but I did not go crazy. 

Suffering is part of living. Not a disqualifier.

I dont want right here to go into the details of the whole sequence as it happened then.

But rather share some conclusion I came to.

Human beings a large look for support and re-assurance.

Living, with the prospect of aging and dying, is not an easy thing.

I am sejourning presently in the Himalayas, surrounded by a great number of Tibetan buddhists. Both Tibetans and foreigners.

The mind is decried in all many religious spiritual appraoches. Not solely by the Bible or Rawat!

Some of these Tibetan monks go to huge extents into their practice studying for over 20 years.

My point here is I am choosing to reject all this. To be on my own with...my life.

Am sure some can call me a fool.

I dont want anyone telling me what I should do or think or feel.

I just let it happen

And am not saying am right..or wrong.

I can say for sure that feelings of love and understanding and compassion and beautiful poetic states still manage to creep on me hahaha. Just like that.

And discomfort and pain also hehehe.

Everything.

So I will say for me anyway, I find it worth it to try that, in spite of the personal doubts and the fact that most everyone around are joiners, worth it to navigate my own little boat.

I do believe in a superior power though. 

To which am plugged. 

So no worry. Thats how I see it.