"After so many years, I dared to think for myself!"
Amazing isn't it Inis? Thinking for ourselves...... that's the last thing Rawat would ever want us to do. Unbelievable how he methodically and relentlessly tore us down into obedient, subservient puppets, incapable of independent thought. All the while having us believe that it was good for us and all of humanity. That this was the purpose of life, to obliterate our own God given gift of rational thought.
But even after decades of obedient practice, there remained a tiny little voice in the background that I finally started to listen to. That part of me and that little voice, is what ultimately saved me, even though I'd spent years trying to squelch it. Once I found this forum and let that voice speak freely, there was plenty to say.
I was recently thinking about my Knowledge session and the reaction I had once the sacred techniques were finally revealed. I'm sitting there cross legged on the floor and that tiny little voice goes..... "hey, that's the same kind of blue and white lights I've seen every time I rubbed hard on my eye lids!..... and this Holy name stuff; what's so special about breathing? following my breath? that's the big secret?...... guess this tongue up your nose thing will just take some more time and practice. can't get it past the uvula. Maybe when I get home I'll push it on up there with my fingers..... ringing in my ears. Had that before, especially swimming under water. What's so great about that?
If I had only listened to myself and applied a little common sense at the very beginning. But the promises were so spectacular, and the opportunity so incredible, I had to stick around, try my best, and see what happens. Thirty four years later I finally connected all the dots and very painfully, crawled out of that hell hole. Hopefully, by posting here, its like throwing a life line to those who are still trapped or wanting to be pulled out.
