Yesterday I did write you a fairly detailed response. Which got lost when I went to post....

Today: I just walked off a table where a woman was going on about her Tibetan Buddhist conditioning.

Could not take it.

So yes we were brainwashed and conditioned heavily.

If this can be a solace, we' re not the only ones. At least this is my opinion.

Yet it is not a solace at all. It is mostly irritating.

I guess life is somewhat scary and difficult that so many give their souls away to all encompassing systems and masters.

And so many who dont do that, give theirs to money or whatever.

I know it is necessary to keep to the subject here. So here I stop the rambling.

But anyway this reflection helps me to start forgiving myself for the bind I submitted to when I joined this cult.

One positive thing I can say...ouf! there is one...joining this forum is actually quite powerful. Stirring a lot.

I do feel something like vague compassion, or pity, for people who end up surrendering themselves to some system. Even though they are highly irritating while they are in it. I most likely was too.

Remembering clearly when I first started hanging out with premies. This occasion when we were several in a car. And all of a sudden, it was forbidden to have a normal conversation.

One by one they started "giving satsang" ...and I thought ...let me out of this loony bin..

Till later when I started on it too.