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| A little story about (telling) the truth |  | ||
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It was the autumn of 97 when a premie couple told me that they had seen a website saying the most awful things about Maharaji. It had been announced at a local program together with a health warning to stay away from it, but - like a few others - they sneaked a peek at it. My immediate reaction to them was that any old lies could be published on the internet: Maharaji was in a similar position to the Royal family -the tabloids print all sorts of rubbish about them too and like them, he couldn’t answer back. I can't believe I said that now, but at the time I really believed it. Because of service I had done, I knew things about Maharaji that the average premie didn't, including his drinking and mistress. But I hadn't told a soul - my loyalty to the Lord was absolute; after all, he ‘operated at a different level’ to the rest of us. The couple took me at my word and never read the site again, remaining practicing premies. They moved out of the area shortly afterwards and we lost touch. I didn't look at the forum until nearly six months later. I wasn't going to sully my mind with such garbage! Then late one night, either boredom or curiosity got the better of me and I found forum 3(?) through a google search. I was totally shocked. I couldn't believe the anger towards Maharaji. Things were rather raw on those early sites to say the least. I read things I knew to be true and then I read things that were inaccurate. I started copying the email addresses of all the misguided posters so I would be able to contact them and put them right! Then I started downloading all of the archives. The next few days were among the most traumatic of my life. I read and read - often around the clock. I was a nervous wreck. I started reading things that shook my world; the world I had built for the previous 25 years - my entire adult life. I read things by people I had known and knew were to be trusted that started to severely challenge the gopi-like devotion I had for the 'Living Lord'. I felt very alone - there was no-one I felt I really could talk to - the one person I did talk to thought I'd gone nuts and hoped it was just a phase. I was too afraid to post in case I got ‘flamed’. I had to read on because I had to know the truth. After all, it was as a 'seeker of truth' that I arrived at the Lotus Feet in the first place. I carried on reading over the next few months. I still went to see Maharaji, hoping beyond hope that some of the things I had been reading were mistaken or could be resolved. At one premie-only event I sat just a few yards from Maharaji. It was bizarre. Then Mike Dettmers posted his account of the premie women that he had procured for Maharaji's sexual use and then cast aside. I knew Mike – I knew he was trustworthy and furthermore, apart from his conscience, had far more to lose than to gain from making this information public. And as a virtual ‘pimp’ he hardly came off well himself in the sordid event’s he related. As far as I was concerned, the mistress or affairs were one thing – this was totally different territory. This was a total and absolutely cruel abuse of power. There was no humanity in this, let alone any love. I knew the women concerned would have been completely devastated. That was my final drip. Maharaji had gone beyond the pale: he could not be the Lord Incarnate and even if he was I could follow him no longer. I had lost my pivotal reference point for life, the universe and everything. That was over seven years ago and a lot’s happened since then. My life has transformed and expanded. I have found that whatever joy or peace that I used to experience and attribute to knowledge is still mine and always was. Best of all, I am my own authority now. One thing would still irk me: I had totally lost touch with the friends who had first directed me to the forum that had led to my freedom. Quite apart form being fond of them, I really felt I owed them a big thank-you and I also owed them the truth. Then a couple of months ago to my complete delight, they got in touch. They had emigrated and were coming over on a trip to the We had a very enjoyable and interesting few hours, reminiscing and catching up. We talked about many things - it became very clear that they were still practicing premies – especially one of them. I still hadn’t told them and I couldn’t put it off any longer. The visit was about to get more interesting. I knew what I had to say and broke the news as gently as I could. One was particularly shocked. They had been premies for 12 years and they had never read any of the forums since I warned them off over seven years ago. I watched them exit that afternoon and now they are premies no longer. They have their power and their lives back. Of course their transition has included denial, anger, guilt, blame and the rest of it – some of it that very afternoon and more since. But we are in touch regularly and I am happy to report that they are both fine and having a great life in their new country. In telling them, for me on one level it felt like a conversation was being continued and on another that a cycle was being completed. “If you don’t like it, walk” I remember Maharaji expressing this and similar sentiments at a number of events. For some of us, it’s not as simple as that. Not after a lifetime of energy spent introducing others to give their power and wealth away to Maharaji and making him rich off the proceeds. Knowledge wasn’t a hobby that I could just give up but my whole ‘raison d'être’. So supporting forums like this to ensure that the information is available is the least I can do. I don’t mind if folks choose to follow Maharaji as long as they make that decision in full knowledge of the facts about him. Thank you to everyone that supports (and posts in) the various websites that promote the truth about Maharaji. The truth has to be told. In doing so, you have made and are still making, a tremendous difference to me and hundreds of others. Bunny
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