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Because you were in Denver working in the International Headquarters of Divine Light Mission whose leader and Perfect Master and Lord of the Universe was Prem Rawat who was then known as Guru Maharaj Ji.
And Prem Rawat, when he married Marolyn Lois Johnson, who then became Durga Ji the goddess and mother of all the premies of Prem Rawat had a quote from Kehlog Albran's most famous book, The Profit, read out during the ceremony. There is nothing in this world that is off topic when it comes to Prem Rawat and as Prem's father said, relating back to Kehlog Albran and Prem Rawat, the only difference between thi shit of a rich person like Prem and a poor person like me is that his shit cost a lot more to make.
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And a merchant said, Speak to us of Buying and Selling.
And he answered and said wotever he said, it was a bit boring really, and the priest interjected and said well don't forget the freight....it's fate. 
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Skepticism rules!
Sacred balloons popping.
Listen! I am clapping! ( but just with the one hand ).
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Its a new age. Lots and lots of workshops for the thoroughly modern young person to acquaint themselves with.
And I thought trying to remember how many wot and where a chakra was was hard enough.
Now it looks like we missed the one on how to read the wisdom of your breakfast cereal, sigh
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Prem Rawat was unable to begin the 1,000 years of peace when the lion would lay down with the lamb, probably because squeezing your eyes for 2 x 15 minute sessions a day (among other very poor options like kissing his feet at every opportunity) is just not a way to successfully implement 1,000 years of peace.
But he was able to get the duck to lie down with weasel for a while, maybe not in the same bed but probably in the same ashram. And together they produced a baby and I've posted it at:
http://www.prem-rawat-bio.org/library/wayout_dlm.html
After the initial innocent period, DLM was never one to let the truth come into it's public presentations and this essay is part of the very early PR spin for which Rawat's minions have become so famous. Oh that's right, they're not famous and neither is he. That's probably because he's such a failure at millenialising.
PS I don't know if Derek Harper is Catweasel and neither do I care but they have enough in common.
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