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| I had another strange dream |  | ||
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I don't know if I would call it a nightmare, because I didn't wake up disturbed, just marvelling. My wife invited several friends round for dinner. They were strangers yet they all resembled premies I once knew and counted as friends. I soon realised that it was not a friendly gathering. They each tried to talk to me. I could see that they were annoyed, with me, even angry, and yet their words did not make sense. Some of them mumbled through the main part of the sentence, some were speaking gibberish from the beginning. After, in a kind of desperation to understand, I had, embarrasssingly asked them to repeat their words 3 or 4 times over, I got one point. They were saying they could not let my wife continue to be with me. I turned to her and asked: "Is this what you want?" She produced a small notebook, but that too was filled with gibberish. One thing there I recognised. It was a list of the negative words and phrases I had used toward Maharaj Ji. I had often had these dreams were I dreamed she was leaving me and I had awoken choking for breath, my breath only capable of performing the "Hung", the outgoing part of the breath, in cries of anguish, and not the "So" part. My latest creative work was a 5 foot, unfinished plasticene dolphin hanging on the wall, which at this point I nervously fiddled with, trying to mold it, to make it look less like a shark, and I suppose trying to show her that I was an innocent, creative person. But this time seeing the ugly company she had assembled in my room I said. "OK if that's what you want." and did not cave in with grief. Twice, when the others were out of the room getting drinks, one of them, a lady, physically attacked me. But all denied the likelihood of such a thing, when they returned. But this time I did not wake sweating and disturbed, but lay contented, breathing easy, but puzzled. Sleep had gone.. (4.45 am). I arose, and as usual, came straight to the forum. I was once more among friends. Then I saw Lexy's post saying a post of mine should not be hiding down here, and I seemed to understand a connection to this dream. The post she indicated I considered to be the sequal to the former post, which was a bit incoherent, but I think it has a relevance to the second so I am putting them both up here out of hiding. (In my travels through UK and USA, that Andrea Cagan's book speaks of, I was only accepting invitations, I never planned my moves.) Re: Hi Lexy Or put another way I thank all of you for being there. I don't know where I would be without you. Thanks for your patience. Saph Modified by Lp at Tue, Feb 20, 2007, 01:53:07 |
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I already lost what I love 10 yrs. ago