I left the Ashram in 1974 as the lifestyle ( and the horrible job I had in a plastics factory in Farlington,Portsmouth ) made me feel depressed.After living in a "free and easy" premie house for a while , I went to London and inspired by the DUO " doing good works in the community " philosophy which seemed to be encouraged at the time ( around the Palace of Peace), I trained as a school-teacher in Camberwell ( had it not been for the guru and the influence of DLM I would have gone to university.....it had never entered my head to be a teacher ).

In a fit of insecurity I got married ( like so many other premies at that time) and "spaced-out" for a while as I couldn't take the intense ,confused and really quite insane atmosphere around premies and DLM at that time ( second half of the seventies ).Around 1979 ( feeling very low) I returned to the lotus-feet with more fervour than ever before.What drew me back was the memory of the hope and the love around premies. 

From this moment on I went to satsang as much as possible, in fact I was addicted to the feeling  of security and the warmth of the premies which seemed to insulate me from the harshness of the "wicked world" outside.Often I went to a local premie house ( Mary and Tony's or Dave Sparks'.....do you remember those venues Sir Dave ? You were a regular too.) , other times I went to one ashram or another, often for whole weekend satsang and eventually " satsang and video" events. I became some kind of a South London Co-Ordinator endlessly collecting  funds or jumble and organising jumble sales to benefit the Lord of the Universe....by this time I was working full-time aswell and just about managed to avoid a nervous breakdown.

I definitely chose to do all the above.I was already well and truly brainwashed.As someone who suffered from a constant background feeling of depression and who found the stories of the tough world of Maya to be true ,I was desperate to find myself in the promised land of constant bliss and salvation.

It was a different world then.Every man/woman for his/her self .I wish there had been more visible support in the wider non-premie community for a young person as lost as I was....DLM and the guru filled a gap in the market and scooped us all in . The premies I knew then, in South London were very largely not at all well-off. They were possibly reasonably well-educated and in many cases smarter than the average but IMO basically working class ,maybe from parents with middle class aspirations, thats all. I remember them with affection.