......because I was young and didn't know enough about traps.

I have just written a long, long explanatory post, Paddy ...but I lost it all while searching for a link on EPO ( the list of life circumstances which make a person susceptible to influence by a cult  which I couldn't find.

Anyhow briefly then: a very , very persuasive ,  and articulate premie lovebombed and satsanged me determinedly for days.He seemed to be able to answer all my questions and the end I believed him. Once I believed him I was blissed out for days which I equated with something like " being saved " , "Paul on the road to Tarsus", or whatever.I went to get knowledge at the Palace of Peace thinking I would just get it , the truth would be revealed and that would be that. At the POP they told me I had to attend " satsang" in order to become " ready" for knowledge.I attended conscientiously and was systematically brainwashed.

It was a trap and a trick.Fear played an important part as did my youth, naivety,idealism, lostness and coupled with my christian/jewish background.

 Not much if anything was known about cults in those days and anyway , this one was different enough from those I did know about ( Jehovahs Witnesses, Plymouth Brethren) not to be recognised as a cult by me.I had never been warned about this kind of thing.

It was the old bait and switch; I chose to try for knowledge but I got total surrender to the guru and with knowledge that was as slippery as soap. I didn't choose that but once I had been persuaded to sample the goods on offer....the brainwashing and the fear made it an inevitable outcome.

Pity I lost my first post ! This will have to do.

Thanks Henna and Dave , as you seem to understand where I'm coming from.