I recall being that way myself as a premie, and I still see it today.  It's like every piece of evidence that Rawat is full of shit, it just evidence that he is who he claims to be, and it just convinces you more. 

For many premies, the existence of ex-premies, sex-abuse scandals, mistresses, and even no "experience" as just proof that Rawat must really be the Perfect Master.

What IS is about human beings that make us be that way?  It's truly scary.  Even more so because I lived that bizarro world myself once, just like you did too.  Amazing.