Hi Thorin..

well, I said almost want to go: ) In reality, I don't think wild horses would be strong enough to drag me to another Rawat event.

To be honest with you, I don't really know how to broach the subject of Rawat with old pals who are still Premies.I say the odd thing here and there about how I honestly feel but don't really invite or expect a big discussion, especially in a phone call scenario as it was the other day. Face to face, under the right, relaxed circumstances I'd elaborate fully on the whole business but that hasn't really happened yet nor am I particularly bothered whether it does or not.With my mother, for instance, and her devotion to Roman Catholicism... I just never bring the subject up though I could go to town with my disgust and condemnation : ) I know that's not quite the same thing...arguing the toss with a 85 year old woman who's followed her religion for the whole of her life...or maybe it is, I dunno.

Also, I reckon there are many die-hard Premies....many of my friends included, I suppose....who cannot/ will not leave room for genuine, rational doubt.Like my Mother they seem to derive some emotional certainty from their devotion and that's just the end of matter. Again, though, I can't say for sure.Who knows? Even though I was involved for quite some time and did experience that " imaginary friend/lover/Master" shit I was never really that surprised I left it all behind so emphatically. The reason being that I did regularly accept doubt and did regularly squirm at the "cultishness" of it all in between shots of  "devotion", from the very early days right through to Long Beach 96. Maybe others weren't /aren't as willing to go with that and reach a conclusion.

I'm just not certain about other people. All I really know is how I view it myself.

Cheers

Dermot