This is short because I am dashing off in a few minutes. It's good to see you here.

I agree we made the choice but it was not an informed choice - we were well and truly had - and as you say we could have done much better things with our youth (and the next 25 years in my case). I joined the ashram out of dedication not because of fear of the outside and I find such comments insulting.

I am bringing my recent post "My life was never going to be about stacking shelves Livia" up here because Livia has brought her subject up here and not responded. I hope you will do so now Livia.

Livia,

I'm glad to hear that your career is doing so well. I am having an interesting time myself. Much more interesting than than what I did for so many years to fund 'my real life' as an active and dedicated devotee.

I am entitled to feel agrieved about the degree I threw away, the money I squandered, the relationships I destroyed and the children I didn't have Livia. I appreciate your optimistic upbeat approach - I'm an optimist with a sense of humour and I know that helps me enormously. But I will not have my history and loss trivialised as something that stopped me being bored.

Like Jason, Baba and many others here I wasted a lot of my years, energy and love on helping Maharaji to aquire his millions when I thought I was helping humanity. I know what's important to me in my life and it wouldn't have been stacking shelves, but making a difference.

We have earnt the right to complain about being conned out of our dreams. I'm not going to drown in self pity but I'm not going into denial about it either. Otherwise, it will all have been in vain.