In his reply, below, PatW said to you:

In the Rome ashram meeting Maharaji said something to the effect that we were the special lucky ones and that "all those people out there in the main hall" (referring to the premies en-masse waiting for him) were never really going to realise the Knowledge whereas we had the great opportunity - don't blow it etc. He said this with his usual force of conviction and kind of threateningly.

That reminds me of the mother who calls each of her children in for a private chat and says, "you were always my favorite." If that isn't pure manipulation, I don't know what is.

What I wonder, from reading your post, is why you feel the need to make a judgment at all about whose fault it is that someone was negatively affected by being in a cult. Sure, we are all different and each of us is succeptible to the people and influences in our families and lives in different ways. Two children from the same family, growing up with the same parents will remember thier childhood differently. If the parents were abusive and negative, perhaps one child will be damaged and unable to get it together in the world because of how it affected their unique personality and nature. The other sibling may go on and become 'successful' in the eyes of the world. Looking from the outside, many people will judge those siblings, labeling one as stronger or more 'together' because they did moved on with their life and made something and did not blame their circumstance. They may label the other one as a 'victim' who should forget the past and move on.

My opinion is that both siblings are human beings deserving of respect and that the abusive parents have to be held accountable for their part in the emotional inheritance passed on to their children. What I say is that, sure, there are both kinds of individuals who ended up as premies and were succeptible to M's brand of abuse and manipulation (and many others on the continuum in between). I honor their struggle, or lack of it, and whatever personal growth method they pursue to heal, if healing is what they need.

However, the abuser-manipulator should also be held accountable. Or at least labeled and outed to others. But as with any abuse, the abuser may never own up to it or apologize and those that want to heal may have to find it in themselves to take that journey alone. Some find this forum beneficial in that process. No one deserves to be judged for who they are or were or where they are in the process of healing. Just my opinion...