Hi NAR,

I read your post just as I was leaving work and thought about it all the way home. So there are a few things I wanted to say. You said:

 Nothing in my post was meant to be personal or insulting.

I know that is true. I have no reason to think that your intent was anything other than good toward Lexy and that you were talking about her ideas. I was only commenting about the language used to make your point. I was identifying some of the language in your and other people's posts as sometimes inflammatory. I was not assigning intent and I'm sorry about it if you thought I was talking about you as a person!

You also said:

If my posts to Lexy were caustic, please let me know exactly where they were caustic

As I said, above, I didn't say your posts were caustic, I was referring to those who use inflammatory or caustic language to make a point and how that affects the listener and their ability to 'hear' the message.

I do have another question, though:  Why is it that "I" have to be sensitive to what everyone else thinks and nobody, I repeat NOBODY has been sensitive to what I think, say, feel or otherwise experience?

I read this part of your post to me and had to really stop and think about it. I guess it's true, that my intent was to speak in defense of  Lexy and in support of her statements because I could relate to them and also because I didn't think she was being heard. I guess I got my response to that when reading her post later that said,".......you said , Quirky , what I couldn't find the words to say."

But now I want to give you the same respect and try to hear what you are saying. I kind of got from reading this thread that you have been in the military and also are scientifically trained and it seems are used to communicating in cultures that value direct no-nonsense statements and sometimes warrior-like phrasing. Having a bit of warrior in me that I am just getting to be friends with, I honor and respect the warrior in you. Also that you are forthright with what you think and don't hold back. I am not sure which ideas you are speaking about that you feel no one is sensitive to what you think, say feel, etc. But I will try to really 'listen' to what you are saying when I read your posts again.

So, anyway, what I was trying to say in my last post, and maybe didn't explain well enough, is that it is not your intent or any other ex's intent that I question in this forum. I just think that sometimes the message gets delivered in language and phrasing that some of us react to in a way that does not allow the message to be truly heard. In a way, I throw up my 'virtual' hands in protection against the 'slings and arrows' of certain types of language. As I read this back I have no idea if I will be understood here either. If we were sitting at a pub, having a beer and a cigarette it would be so much easier. I am sure I would really like you, and your personality. And we would be able to read body language and intent as we talk instead of having to go thru lots of posts explaining things..

PS, I love science, got my best grades in math/calculus, am very tech savy and practice astrology on the side (please don't call me a moron, she says, as she opens a new can of worms..)  : )