Andries,

I wonder to what extent the guru (in my case SSB) is responsible for joining the cult and to what extent the follower is responsibe.

You asked an important question Andries, thank you.  There other questions that follow it, such as: Who was sincere and who wasn't?  Who came with a "guileless heart?"  Who asked for the guileless heart?  Who offered the "peace, bliss, the universe of love, an avatar" and more?  Who offered constant peace and bliss?  Who offered relief from this world, as if we weren't supposed to even live in the real world?  Who placed themself in that position?  My answer is:  Not the followers. Therefore, the natural conclusion has to be the cult leader bears the responsibility.

I think that everybody is ultimately responsible for themselves and for happens to them in their lives, but when someone is deceived to the extent that a cult leader deceives his followers, such as SSB or Rawat have done, then the fakers bear the brunt of the responsibility.  I didn't get involved with Rawat with the intent to deceive him and I never did.  I would imagine that's how it was for you, too, with SSB.

Whenever someone makes promises to another person and does so with deception, it's always wrong.  That's a terrible abuse of trust.  That's why it can be so difficult for some people to trust again, once they remove themselves from a cult. It's such a large betrayal that it might take longer to learn how to trust anyone again.  It's sad, actually, because no one has a right to do that to anyone.  It's indecent. So much trust was extended to the leader about such important things, such as your spirituality, the purpose of your life, and even your day to day living, that it makes his betrayal of trust so much more insidious and disgusting.  I don't care how much "bliss" someone may have felt, either, because it's an ignorant bliss and one that's based upon something that was always false.  No one has a right to do that because it's immoral.

Decent people just don't go around purposely deceiving others, even about small things in life, so when someone like a cult leader uses the goodness in people, such as the natural desire to trust others (and their desire learn and grow) and he then abuses their trust through deception, then they get the blame and responsibility for involvement, not the other way around. The blame sits right at the doorstep of the cult leader even more because of the grand scale of the deception.  I just don't see it any other way, and believe me, I've looked at this issue from all angles over the years.

The difference is that once a person does get out it is their personal responsibility to get over it, to extent they choose to recover from involvement.  So, while I do place the major responsibility upon the cult leader, when someone snaps out of their involvement and belief-system, it's then their responsibility to figure out what helps them best, so that they can gain or regain their lives for themselves, in order to live a happy and normal life

Cynthia