Jim, it's all my fault.  I was telling Maharaji (me, being his Perfect Sidekick) that (1) you were spending too much time at ELK and/or (2) you enjoyed it too much.  Maharaji, the man of wisdom and caring without being hateful that he is, said, "I have to (pick one: "Save", "Punish") Jim by turning off ELK."

Jim, Maharaji really (pick one: "loves", "hates") you.

As Guru Maharaji is my witness I swear that this is true.

Jim, how about a trip to Maharaji's Monkey Trap instead?

http://drek.us/pages/pics/monkeytrap.shtml

Reach into the jar for what Maharaji has to offer