Gosh, bill, that's an awful scenario.  Sadly, I think it's true that my Perfect  (me being the Perfect Sidekick) Master's circus is going to get really ugly and based on his pictures it will be sooner than later.  Therefore, the obivious alternative is to switch directly to Sat Pal where things are much more honest and probably a lot more fun.

http://www.manavdharam.org/index.html