What struck me first was Jon Ellis' comment that everybody in the hall had resolved all the issues and all were ready to embrace love from the very first night.  All the doubters were elsewhere, according to Jon.  But then Howard says something about all the "dirt and doubts" that were surrounding his heart until a certain song started to play.

Joe noticed this "everybody" kind of thinking earlier this week.  I guess it's no big deal, really, people tend to get excited and gushy sometimes, but it IS extremely cultish to act and talk like that. 

And pity the poor person who does still have some doubts sitting in that hall. 

You know the premies have to wonder who is going to exit next.  It's not like the "ex-premie movement" has finished its work!

I suppose that the people at ELK are quite aware that we exes like to critique their expressions.  Some of them will come here to see how we react to Jon and Howard and the others.  They don't want to take us on directly by posting here, but in case they are peeking in I would like to say that the thing I dislike the most about the premie way is what Jon calls Maharaji's "very unique message."  This is the aspect that I find most troubling and most contrary to my own heart.  Jon says that he has made the conscious decision to override any concerns about any of the ex-premie issues and to embrace love and to appreciate the "eternal wonder" of Maharaji's message.  Why should Maharaji's message be "unique" if it is about love???  Love is not unique.  None of the problems about the old days, (a few short years ago actually) are really terribly important when you compare it to the cultish exclusivity that Rawat teaches and which his narrow minded followers force themselves to embrace.  I know that's not the way my heart works, and I know it is troubling to premies, even though they will deny it to others and to themselves.  We all want the love that does not have those boundaries. 

Rawat's message is, in fact, unique.  Nobody else teaches that Rawat is the necessary catalyst of truth and love.  Nobody else teaches that you have to make effort every single day of your life by practicing those four techniques in a secret, hidden way; attributing some or most of their power to Rawat's influence. 

But Rawat's message is NOT an "eternal wonder."  It is finite.  It will pass.  It will die with the man.  But the heart knows no such boundaries.  It is not the "issues" that keep people away from the Shrine Auditorium.  It is their hearts!!!  People like Jon and Howard will not give us ex-premies that credit, but it is they who misjudge and dishonor us.  It is not just us who dishonor them in our denouncements of their beliefs.

The irony is that ex-premies have learned to depend on something within themselves better than the current premies have done, they who still struggle with doubts about a man, a silly man, a very big frog in a very little pond.  A few song and dance routines and their doubts fade into the background for awhile.  I cringe to see our middle-aged peers behaving this way.  I cringe to hear Howard talk about the dirt around his heart and how he needs Rawat to clean it.  I cringe when a person who is sick and dying thanks another man for making his life complete, as if that were ever needed, or even possible. My only consolation is knowing all cults such as this are doomed by their own untruthfulness.