That's a good point, and something I have wondered myself.  It's so strange that premies will profess to knowledge being so wonderful but then won't put their own names on the those statements.  Not very good disciples are they?  Is it embarrassment?  I think that's one thing.  Premies have to deal with embarrassment all the time.  That's why they never tell anybody about knowledge or Rawat, or most of them don't.  They might really believe in him, and they might really believe that they are getting something out of being one of his followers, but, secretly, most of them wish it was different, that Rawat was different and they didn't have to be embarrassed about it to other people in their lives.  Plus, they are embarrassed, or guilty, about being embarrassed.  I felt that quite a lot as a premie.  Of course, I never talked about it then.

I think most premies would really prefer that Rawat be different.  They secretly wish Rawat didn't push ostentatious materialism to the extremes.  The yacht, the numerous residences, the Gulfstream Jet, the gold toilets, all of it.  Premies might really think they don't care how Rawat lives, but on one level, it's hard to be associated publicly with it.  In the least, they would prefer that it not be talked about, hence the anger at EPO.  It's personal.  I think that's why premies can get so nasty at times.  They know how ordinary people respond to Rawat the cartoon character:  The fabulously rich Guru, who lives a jet-set lifestyle, while saying that his sole purpose in life is to bring peace to the poor people of the world.  Just doesn't add up, and it's very difficult to address.  It always has been.

Then there is the whole convoluted process somebody has to go through to even get knowledge, and the difficulty in explaining why Rawat is essential to the whole process, before and after, if it really is just about getting techniques to have a nice experience of peace.  Premies know, or believe, inside, that's because Rawat is the incarnation of God, or at least some kind of supreme being, who, through grace, or the ethers, or something, is actually the one giving the "experience of peace," and that there's all this extra special stuff about being in his presence and getting his darshan.  But you can't really talk about it, and it isn't advertised that way, and it isn't really clear if it's even okay to believe that, and so the poor premie is in kind of a bind.  Plus, when is anybody "ready" for knowledge?  What does that mean?  Why is it so nebulous, undefined, and seemingly arbitrary?  How do you explain that to somebody?

They probably wish all that was different too, and many premies think the whole "getting ready for knowledge" process is a complete crock and they would never try to get anybody sucked into it.  They just ignore it completely.   The vast majority of premies are probably extremely cynical about all that.   I recall as a premie I just gave up on the whole propagation thing afer a number of attempts to bring "new people" to hear about knowledge.  It was always very embarrassing.

On the other hand, maybe they are afraid that if they really do give their name, that they are somehow "committed" to the process of actually talking logically and objectively about Rawat and knowledge and the rest.  If they don't give their names, well, maybe they feel they can slip away and pretend there were never there in the first place.  I think there's just a lot of fear associated with that.  Fear of saying something wrong and having it get back to the Big Man.

In fact, I think most premies consider it some kind of traitorous act to engage ex-premies on their own turf, unless they have, or think they have, some kind of permission from the Lord to do it.   I think this might be what Babaluji is suggesting.

Plus, it just might create doubts, and we all know that doubts are greatly feared in the Rawat cult, as they are in any cult.  Once you start doubting, once you start engaging in an intellectual, objective, truthful analysis of what you are into, how you feel about it, and what it has cost you, a premie may well not be a premie for very long.

Finally, some of the premies who post here, may be some of the same ones who have engaged in criminal and other attacks on ex-premies over the years (the CAC websites, other websites, harassment of employers, complaints against professional societies, defamation, and god knows what else) and might not want to use their names because of that, for obvious reasons.

I mean, when we have gotten to the point where we are now, that the official Rawat organization, Elan Vital, is directly attacking ex-premies on their official organization websites, as some kind of derranged, "hate group," people who have some kind of internet mental disease, or are, in the words of George W. Bush, just "evil" or "evildoers" for no reason but just because they get a kick out of it, anything is possible.   I mean, among other things, it looks desperate and ridiculous especially when EV professes to be made up of people who want nothing more that to experience peace and love.

I also appreciate your posts.  I think you give a very interesting perspective, and I wish you all the best in working things out in your relationship.