Hi Liv,

I'm so sorry to hear that about your friends.  I've been reading a bit about how psychotherapists need to start dealing with people in spiritual crisis.  It's not necessarily about exiting a cult, but, urging educational institutions to teach the therapists learn how to talk properly with clients who are in so much pain about those issues.  It's a dicey thing, because there are so many new age therapists -- in the U.S. anyway -- who have their own belief-systems and use them in a "pseudoscience way" as a method of psychotherapy. 

It's so frustrating to know someone you can't help or reach. When it appears that someone is clinically or chronically depressed I think it always best to urge them to seek professional help and at least start there.  If you were sick with a disease they'd want you to get professional help, right?

They may be so overwhelmed by saddness that even the most simple every day things will seem like impossible things to achieve.  They may even be feeling too bad to make the effort to ask for help.  Depression is an awful disease.  Offering to help them look in a phone book for names of therapists or psychiatrists, and making a list with them could be a start.  If they are unable or too sad to drive themselves, offering that is good, too.  If they agree to try to ask for professional help, a basic thing like even being there while they make the call might help.  Everyone is so different.

But, never give up on people. Maybe instead of urging your friends to do something that sounds untenable, like studying something that interests them, it's probably more reasonable to suggest that they make a couple of written goals for each day.  The goals might be something as basic as getting showered and dressed, and if they can make it that far, to go outside for fresh air, read their mail.  Each day that they write their goals down and complete them, they can cross those accomplishments off their list and make a new list the the coming day.

That's how disabling depression can be.  It's important to remember it's a disease not something folks do willfully.  No one wants to feel that bad.  And when people do feel that bad, they often feel tremendous shame about that they can't reveal to even their closest friends and family.  I don't think anyone is totally unreachable, though.  It is difficult to watch and wait.

Maharaji or Knowledge cannot help them.  That's a big part of the problem, IMO.  I'd never recommend that anyone go back. I think that there are some people who take longer to get over the cult involvement.  Being middle-aged certainly makes matters worse, too.  If there are childhood issues that were unresolved before joining the cult, they are sure to resurface after leaving -- even if it is thirty or so years of involvement with M. 

All the way around, it sucks.  Have hope, though.

Cynthia