Lexy,

Thanks for the correction.  I don't remember any raffles in my spot of premiedom, here in the Midwest USA, but others might remember some.

This really is all so comical, isn't it?  Both the past (in which we have to laugh at ourselves) and the present (for which we get to laugh at the current premies only!)

I remember once I was giving satsang and I was saying that this world is not the party-spot of the universe.  Even when the Perfect Master comes to this world, he does not turn it into the party-spot of the universe.  It still is the realm of good and evil and the struggle between the two.  Fulfillment and true love are only found from transcendence of the duality of this realm of existence.  (Wasn't I clever?) 

Now I see that Rawat has forsaken this philosophy and adopted a new world view, which prescribes to the notion that this world IS in fact the party-spot of the universe, provided the living Perfect Master is in residence.  We can drink and smoke and fornicate and have barrels of fun and we can have the Ultimate fulfillment as well, all at the very same time.  There is a good saying for this philosophy - "You can have your cake and eat it too." 

Problem is, for Rawat and his premies, this just isn't the case, I'm afraid.  This world is not the party-spot of the universe.  If it were, cigarettes would be good for your lungs and all the money that goes into the military coffers of all the various countires would go into planting flowers along the medians of all the highways, and all the military personnel would wear bright and assorted colors and carry balloons instead of guns and those awful camouflage outfits.

Rawat recently said (in India, of all places) that the best thing about Knowledge is that you can be stuck in the maya and still experience the ultimate fulfillment.  I don't think that this statement was an error.  I think he really meant it.  I think he even believes it, or tries to believe it.

So it's an interesting little question.  Is it true that we can experience the Ultimate fulfillment whilst still alive in this body and in this world, heir to all the slings and arrows of duality?

My own answer to myself about this question is no.  I do not seek an Ultimate fulfillment.  I only seek a fulfillment that is in fact possible within duality, and this fulfillment is good enough.  Whether or not it is Ultimate is impossible for me to distinquish while being myself here, so I reject any philosophy that deals in ultimates.

There are times when we are happy.  Let's say that I am sitting with my boyfriend and he smiles and we both feel a connection to each other and a peace within the present moment here on the tiny portion of the manifest world that we happen to be occupying.  Maybe we are at a window and it's snowing outside.  Or somewhere else.   We accept ourselves and the world and appreciate the beauty.  We wish well for all.

That is all I seek.  I don't need Rawat for that.  In fact, when I was trying to find fulfillment with Rawat, I found him to be a bit of a hindrance, actually.  It's a little hard to get to that feeling with somebody who is sitting on a stage and is only 1 inch tall from your perspective in the audience.  Some premies are no doubt better at that than I ever was.  But I think all us humans actually want something that is closer to ourselves, and I don't mean by that our True Inner Self, that too is so very deep and far away and it supposedly takes years of commitment to reach that True Inner Self, so fuck it!  It's really no better than Rawat.

Anyway, it IS all so comical, ain't it!!!