The ethos of the early premie days is something I can still look back on with affection - it was many years before the reality of 'service' impinged on my consciousness - I just about had to be whacked on the head with it. I ended up with an argument where I remember this premie telling me I didn't understand and I should think like we were a football team, that is what Maharaji wanted. And I thought he didn't understand the true nature of service that we weren't a football team but individuals. He was right, he knew the truth of it.
No wonder propagation didn't happen and even attendance at satsang was falling through the floor. Satsang had become watching videos! we were too stupid to talk!! and yet I didn't twig to how awful this was, I was quite happy to accept the videos as being better because they were from the boy god himself.
Then came this bizarre event where I act out talking to a friend about Knowledge and this man pipes up out of the audience snorting and saying this is ridiculous and we all turned including me and are thinking as one - he's right.
It was a liberating moment for me. Out of The Truman show and back into the company of other people. Even though he snorted at me what I felt was warmth, truth and the company of others.
So yes thanks, brains are fine, eyes are fine, hair is good. But my neighbours tell me it happens and mostly people die who get hit so to have seen it coming straight for me and Clap it stops just before me has left me feeling privileged to have seen it and personally it well it just feels personal - God loves me a lot and he's angry, and so I am working on my sculpture again which feels so good to be doing.
And I have to say it spoke of country to me.
