Yes, 13's suggestion of a scheduled 2 - 15 minute self-flogging session seems wise, practical and efficient (as if he would come up with anything else!  ). 

I should take him up on that suggestion, too.  My self-thrashings tend to be more like tiny piranha bites all day long.  "Worthless piece of..." is mild compared to the expletives that little bugger sinks into me. 

Not to worry, you are not that and I am not a/an...