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Re:  That's the one! |
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| Re: That's the one! -- lakeshore |
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yes, that's the one.  I knew Manincar was right - on nothing that would stand up in court, we were the ones who had to come up with the deposit - stump up with the emotional currency. But I also knew we doing it for a reason - he had made a promise of delivery. Fulfilment no less. when I exited I remember sitting on a rock, we had just been playing croquet and I recognised quite clearly that my thoughts were kicked through hoops by specific phrases which always took me back to where I started instead of making any progression. So I chewed through all the phrases, dismantling the hoops. That's when I recognised I had lots of compartmentalised beliefs - and a lot of it was entirely incompatible. No wonder I had ended up feeling so at war with myself. I remember finding it a rather enjoyable process - putting the conflicting beliefs into one compartment to see what was left standing. What a mess being a premie made of our heads! It's not the many lies you reject, it's the one you let through. Too big to even think it could be a lie. And that is what I see in common amongst the key figures that have caused problems in my life. They all got me by lying about something I could not imagine a person could lie about. Well can you imagine playing the part of Perfect Master? Mr Lord of the Universe no less. Knowing you are lying. Knowing there are people smarter than you that you are fooling. I couldn't do it, I couldn't imagine doing it. It takes time and experience to recognise that there are other people who can and do lie about the things that really matter and do it quite deliberately and get pleasure out of fooling people, the smarter the better. |
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