I took a second look at this Cynthia, wondering at your response about my anger as you call it, sublimated anger I guess. I didn't want more misunderstanding to telescope onward. Didn't want to leave it as just the "nope" in my other post just now, but try possibly to unravel it a bit...  Geez and I was gonna go away for awhile give it a rest...

I'd written trying to illustrate there could be a range of levels or kinds of abuse such that in milder cases there could allow for valuable memories retained out of the circumstances and times of occurance ... such as in my case...

I said:

"...in some cases not of much ... psychological effect at all, like for me from the range of ongoing sexual abuse I experienced ... from an older PAM ... [yet] I have loads of fond and valuable memories of that period of my working premie life, of the people, even of the guy himself.

I should clarify now, it was mild abuse though ongoing.  He'd grab me sometimes, but not at all like D.Trump brags about with women.  And he'd unexpectedly hug me.  He made a pass only once, getting around to it while walking through an airport at a flight connection traveling together to an event on business, explaining to me how much more convenient it is to have it with other men than all the complications he implied arise with women.  I didn't take to his reasoning  and didn't respond, so he found other boys through that travel.  So you see it wasn't so disgustingly horrible and traumatizing.  Now, more mature, I might have sense to punch him or be more sophisticated enough to foil it more each necessary time.  If it were rape I'm sure I'd never suggest to have fond memory in any manner. 

So you responding, as set against my saying I even had fond memories of the guy, you said:

I'm a survivor of rape and I have no fond memories of my rapist, nor will I ever look for any. 

An utterly greater level of abuse.  No one sane could imagine you'd have any or want to find out any fond memories of the guy.  And it's something as apples and oranges extremely unlike, comparied to my case, vastly different.

But following on with your inaccurate sense of my experience, then you said:

"It's time for you to buck up and face who deserves your anger."

The only rational thing I can guess of this is I'm suspecting you were thinking I am submerging my hidden anger I should rightly have against my abusing guy, should face it that actually I'm deeply angry at the guy and should open it up to the light, deal with it, resolve it, or whatever psychologically is necessary, that I shouldn't ...what's the psychologist's word...sublimate, or anyway shouldn't divert it to ... whoever you think I'm diverting it to, spilling my supressed anger instead over people here as you supposed with my sarcasm. As if to say, "Buck up Tarvuist -- deal with your past, face your anger, heal yourself."  Unless you're also inferring that I am missing some properly placed anger I should have aimed at all the Rawats and still-active premies and all that.  Not much anger, nor rage like you too say is useless.

The other though doesn't at all fit the instance of my episode of experience and my memories of that abuse which I hadn't explained was only mild abuse of a sexual nature just because the guy was homosexual.  I learned stuff in that environment, maybe even progressed in my losing or shrinking some of an earlier  extensive homo-phobia.

But it's strange to me that you say you read anger, anger, anger from my posts, like eveywhere in my posts, and of me something you call passive-aggressiveness.  Blimey, but do I have to say that's a big misunderstanding of me. 

  It spills over through your sarcasm.

Well, enough of it.  I like my sarcasm where I find it appropriate, or even revel in "anger at silly stupid things said in serious places" (to quote myself).  I'm aiming to be a stand-up comedian aspiring as my next career and for that making jokey trials in some of my posts here, if you didn't notice.  How am I doing?  I do have some stand-up experience as an instructor myself learning to say odd things in supposedly serious places.

Now excuse me I'm gonna go and find a therapist to alleviate the great trauma of being misunderstood online by people I've never met.  Please, no one offer your services, I'll need someone disinterested.