Inis ~

I'll never forget one of the most profound teaching moments of my life...I was a young adult, figuring out how to cope with psychic symptoms and suicidal ideation, some that was and some that wasn't mine...grappling with forgiveness...all the things...anyway, I met a woman at a friend's baby shower, the only time I ever saw this woman from the very small town I lived in...looking back I've wondered if she was 'real'...she was so beautiful and I remember her lovely tribal jewelry.

She was Native American, the town we lived in is right in the middle of Navajo Nation sacred lands, and actually many different tribes had come and gone in the area.  It was one of my bad days...I woke up crying and just couldn't shake it.  I couldn't miss the shower, she was a very close friend and it was more like a big party for everyone...all the men and kids were there too, I'd know everyone, except for this woman.

I did my best to put on a happy face and pretty clothes and went to the shower, where she approached me.  I guess I wasn't hiding my tears very well, she saw them clear as day.  I couldn't explain myself to her, I still couldn't explain myself to me...the tears of an empath.  Not only was I upset for 'no reason', but I was also upset that I couldn't stop the flow of emotion...'what's wrong with me?  This is a lovely day, beautiful gathering in celebration of new life...I just can't stop...what's wrong with me?'

She held my hand and said, "Let it flow dear.  There's nothing wrong with you, you cry for the world.  Your tears are nothing to be ashamed of, they're beautiful.  Messengers of overflowing emotional authenticity.  There's a Tribe way up North, my Tribe, and we have only one word for laughter and tears, because they're the Same Medicine."

I wish I knew the word, but the idea has helped me cope for sure.  Cry Inis.  Feel your sorrow, and clear the way for the other side...the smiles.  Let your tears mirror our Sky Tears...the cleansing, nourishing rains...no storm is so grey that it can hide the rainbows just waiting to shine.

I didn't know about Mr. Halley's suicide until I read Cynthia's post this morning.  I'm crying today too.  Depression is rage turned inward, we have to get it out and this is one of the best places to do that...and shereelove is so smart...focus your lens...don't let the rage seep into your other areas like I did.  For years, I let my rage (depression) touch everything I am, simply because I didn't know I had it...and I didn't have EPO either.  Every time I learn of yet another guru related suicide...it kills me a little bit.  And it makes me that much more grateful that you all are HERE!  It's amazing, what you've all been through...

So cry, cry, baby...just laugh a little too as you let EPO support the journey.  And maybe get some ice cream .

Be well,

Genny

Ps.  I personally see your courage and I think you should stop beating yourself up for being cautious.  As Cynthia said, there's no rush, and no pressure...share what you want when you can, and see the strength in that...your strength.