Re: Kept on a leash
Re: Re: Kept on a leash -- SuzyQ Top of thread Post Reply Forum
Posted by:
Inis ®

05/26/2017, 01:40:04
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Thank you for your welcome SuzyQ and all of you.
I left 20 years ago already 96/97

My life was a big big painful mess.
I did have some interaction with EPO at its beginning when I was told it did exist. I had severed the tie just before that. Alone and lonely with it.
About this interaction...Maybe I will tell later what kind of. If I do though I will loose my anonymity and not ready for that.

My son, a little boy then, helped me in the process, believe it or not!
The struggle was so hard. There was this summer nevertheless when Rawat was about to come to London and we were in Europe at that point. In spite of my having severed the tie, secretly as I had not told any premie about it...I was tempted to go to London, mostly to hang around people I knew who may have been there.
My little boy said no mom you are NOT going...you are just starting to get it together...I was working a real job. So he said no. And I knew he was right. I did not go.

So many awful things happened that precipitated my leaving Rawat and cie.
I still fear to talk about it. Because it is Rawat and his toxic soup. But also me in it, my life, my family. 
So at the time I left I essentially kept to myself. 
With my fear and huge amounts of pain.  Plus lots of work to do to get out of the terrible hole I was in.

Now there is also a feeling of shame.
Even though am aware it takes lots of courage to do what we did, that is to free ourselves. 
And that really this shame is just a remnant of something which is not right.








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